So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
