The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
