Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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