I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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