This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
