Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
