So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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