Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
send nudes
from the living room?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
