I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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