so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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