My Higher Power is John Stamos
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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