you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
