Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
