I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just invented taco cereal.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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