Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
