you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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