it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
