Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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