Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The uberlube is also flammable
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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