so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
