I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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