All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
