Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
