I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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