I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
