ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
