so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize