i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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