Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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