no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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