I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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