chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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