id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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