my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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