He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
