dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
