You're so nebulous sometimes
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
