Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
