She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Hippo gnu deer
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
