ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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