My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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