and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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