what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
