we're chasing vodka with high fives
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
