new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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