she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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