I hate all girls vehemently.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
