I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
