YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
