I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
