Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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