you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
