my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
